imputor? Press Clippings

Dalmatians :: Why The Dalmatians are the Best Band to come out of Seattle

Fickle Cycle

I know you've been told by every magazine ever that Kurt Cobain is Seattle. That Nirvana and Grunge were so awesome, because it, like, changed the scene man. And now there is Modest Mouse, getting covered by the American Idol top 12. So now they are the new hot shit Seattlites. But Johnny Marr made them all British so they don't count now. Plus I think Isaac Brock lives somewhere in California where all rich people go to die. But this is besides the point. I am here to tell you that the best band that ever came out of Seattle was a three person farty-synth group with members who's names were Chicken, Balsa, and Pongo. This holy alliance was called The Dalmatians.

My dad somehow got a bunch of free cds from Imputor?! records in 2005, a low profile indie label in Seattle with bands nobody has heard of unless they frequent hip house parties where most of the label members performed in basements (including The Dalmatians.) All of them sucked. One of the bands had the drummer from Modest Mouse in it, but it still sucked. But one album stood out. It was packaged in cardboard with a cd tray glued on the inside. The Sex Pistols were not punk, corrugated cardboard cd cases are punk. Clocking in at around 20 minutes, the album changed my life and I had a huge soulgasm. This was music.

I'd like to do a character study of The Dalmatians real quick. The Dalmatians are the happiest band on Earth. Their first song is called "Team" and is a forty-four second lesson on why they are a team and work together to achieve a common goal. What other band has done that for you? What other band lays their plans for success out in the open right from the get go? Maybe if The Beatles had done this, Yoko wouldn't have broken them up. George would mumble "Hey John, remember, we have a common goal." And John would say "You know what George, I did say that, didn't I? Goodbye Yoko." Unfortunately, The Dalmatians broke up a couple of months after their creation, but more on that later.

After "Team" we have song titles like "MK Lemons into Lemonade" and "Pawsitive!" Furthering my argument for happiest band alive. Their simple farty synth sounds mixed with heavy drums and boy/girl shout-singing completely simplified music. It was no longer about how rad at shredding the solo to Stairway to Heaven you are. It was no longer about how many power chords you could play and how snotty you can make your rebel shriek. It was about fart synths. I ♥ fart synths. I hope you know what I mean when I use that term.

The Dalmatians are just one of those bands who like a supernova shine so bright and then implode soon after. The Dalmatians shined so bright that they died pretty fast. I remember the day I read in The Stranger a blurb saying that they'd disbanded. I was saddened to my core. But I remained Pawsitive, and popped the cd in again. Because it is only 20 minutes long, it bears repetition.

Maybe it's best they broke up. They crapped out this gold nugget of an album, and then they left. That's all I needed. I can safely say that it's one of my favorite albums ever, and by far the best album to come out of Seattle. You be the judge though.